Leadership ConneXions - Issue 14
Welcome to Leadership ConneXions Issue 14 and welcome to all our new subscribers. Leadership ConneXions currently reaches out to over 2000 subscribers.
=========================================================================
You Get What You Model
As children, especially up to age seven, we are like sponges. We soak everything up without any analysis. Indeed many of the things that define us as adults today were forged in these earliest years. That is not to say that we stop learning. Eminent Sociologist, Morris Massey, surmised that we go through three distinct development periods as we grow into adulthood and it is these development periods that define who we become.
The developmental periods he recognises are:
1. Imprint Period occurs from the ages of 0 to 7
2. Modelling Period occurs from the years 8 to 13
3. Socialization Period occurs from during the ages of 14 to 21
While a lot of the major imprinting occurs before age 7, it is from 8 to 13 that we begin to notice and “model” the behaviour of friends, family and heroes. Indeed, Morris Massey postulated that who we are now is very similar to who we were when we were ten! This is because it is around ten that we begin to emulate our heroes. The people around us at that age have had a powerful effect upon us. So the question is, “Who was around you at age ten?” If you have modelled excellence then you most likely you are achieving excellence today. If you modelled mediocrity then perhaps that might explain some things in your life.
In my own case, I suspect that I gain many things from my father. He was crippled by polio before I was born and tended to shun social occasions where people might stare or where there may be significant difficulties in accessing the facilities. (It was always a huge embarrassment to him to have to be carried up stairs.) On reflection, I see my own shyness stemming from modelling him and being reinforced through the socialisation period from ages 14 to 21.
But just because we have aged beyond the Modelling Period does not mean that we have no further abilities to model others. Back then it was an unconscious behaviour and it still is unconscious. However, now that we are older and wiser, we can consciously model excellence and instil it into our lives at the unconscious level.
How? By mirroring and matching the other person. By shadowing what they do? By using the same decision, motivation and other strategies. By adopting the same values? By copying voice patterns, speed, volume, pitch etc. And how do you find out all this information? Watch them in person or on video. Listen to them in person or recorded. Ask them questions – How did you decide to do that? What did you think about immediately before you said what you said? How do you do that? Read everything you can about them, especially autobiographies.
If you do something in the new way often enough, you will create new neural pathways and you can make new habits that allow you to behave in the same way as the person you are modelling.
Give it a go!
Cheers
Barry Lawson
=========================================================================
Three Day Week
Denis Waitley
What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in this opportunity rather than in any other. It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time.
"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today.
Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities -Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore, live this one full Today."
Carpe Diem! Seize this Day!
If you would like to
subscribe to Denis Waitley’s e-zine, you can do so by sending an email to:
subscribe@deniswaitley.com
=========================================================================
"How to Overcome Anger Using the Power of Opposites"
Copyright: Colin G Smith http://www.NLPToolBox.com
With modern life getting more and more chaotic many people are suffering from stress and anxiety that often causes them to feel different types of anger.
Anger can be very destructive and detrimental to ones health and well being. So what can we do to minimise and transform the state of anger into something more useful?
Well a very useful concept that we can use to create change is that of polarities or opposites. For instance using the example of anger we could say it's opposite is patience.
So what if you were to imagine being in a situation where a mind of anger could occur and then allow a feeling of patience to arise. How would feeling that resourceful state of patience change your experience?
Now I suspect you want to know how you can program in these resource states into certain situations so below you will find a Neuro Linguistic Programming technique to help you:
1. Pick a situation where you get a anger/stress feeling. eg) Many people have problems with a particular work colleague etc.
2. In front of you see a picture of that situation with you in it.
3. Now grab it with your hands and flip it around so you can see the back. This is the opposite state. Notice what image arises and feel the feelings associated with this.
4. Flip the picture back around so you are looking at the image you selected in step 2. And now put your hand through the picture and grab hold of the feelings from the opposite image and bring your hand out and imagine spreading those feelings onto the picture in front of you.
5. Break state. Look at the ceiling and count to ten.
6. Think about the situation you chose in step 1 and become aware of how your experience has changed.
Isn't it interesting what your unconscious mind conjures up as an opposite image!
NOTE: For many, many more fascinating NLP change-tools why not, if you haven't already, claim your copy of the "NLP ToolBox" now. http://www.NLPToolBox.com
You can use this technique for transforming all kinds of un-resourceful states. I wonder what your unconscious would come up with for the opposite of boredom, worry, grief, jealousy...
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP ToolBox', a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information on Colin G Smith's books are available at his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.
Do you know of others who might benefit from Leadership ConneXions?
If you enjoyed or learnt from the article above and believe others may also benefit, please forward this email on in its entirety including all links and attachments and tell them they can subscribe at: http://www.leadership-connexion.org or simply ask them to click here
=========================================================================
Share highlights from your Leadership Journey
Do you have a story to tell? Have you found an article or web site that really impacted on you? If so, why not share it with Leadership ConneXions by simply including the details in a reply to this email.
=========================================================================
Help us grow Leadership ConneXions
If you enjoyed or learnt from this email and believe others may also benefit, please forward this email on in its entirety including all links and attachments.
Subscribe
If you were sent a copy of this email by a colleague and you would like to subscribe to future articles, you can subscribe at:
http://www.leadership-connexion.org or simply click here
Unsubscribe?
If you want you name taken off the Leadership ConneXions distribution list, you can unsubscribe at:
http://www.leadership-connexion.org or click here to automatically unsubscribe
************************************************************
Opinions contained in this e-mail do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the directors of Leadership ConneXions. The Authors and Leadership ConneXions assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser or Reader of these materials nor any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein.
Any perceived slights of specific people or organizations are unintentional.
This publication is not intended for use as a source of legal, accounting or psychological advice. Leadership ConneXions wants to stress that the information contained herein may be subject to varying state and/or local laws or regulations. All users are advised to retain competent counsel to determine what state and/or local laws or regulations may apply to the user's particular business.
The Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, federal, state, and local, governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in Australia or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the Reader.
This newsletter may be republished without permission, provided it is reproduced in its entirety. To reproduce sections of the newsletter, please contact Leadership ConneXions at rudolf.p.muller@leadership-connexion.org
************************************************************