Leadership ConneXions - Issue 3
Welcome to Leadership ConneXions Issue 3. Leadership ConneXions currently reaches out to more than 1000 subscribers.
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Dialogue approach to conflict management and communication in organisations
As advertised on our web site, http://www.leadership-connexion.org, Brisbane Learning Net has organised an afternoon with Bob Dick on 16 August. This will be an interactive session using the “dialogue” approach around the theme of conflict management and communication in organisations.
You may already know of Bob. He is perhaps Australia's best known and experienced action learning / organisational learning practitioner and consultant. He has been an inspiration to many!
OK, but what is dialogue?
Well according to David Bohm, Donald Factor and Peter Garrett:
“Dialogue, as we are choosing to use the word, is a way of exploring the roots of the many crises that face humanity today. It enables inquiry into, and understanding of, the sorts of processes that fragment and interfere with real communication between individuals, nations and even different parts of the same organization. In our modern culture men and women are able to interact with one another in many ways: they can sing dance or play together with little difficulty but their ability to talk together about subjects that matter deeply to them seems invariably to lead to dispute, division and often to violence. In our view this condition points to a deep and pervasive defect in the process of human thought.
In Dialogue, a group of people can explore the individual and collective presuppositions, ideas, beliefs, and feelings that subtly control their interactions. It provides an opportunity to participate in a process that displays communication successes and failures. It can reveal the often puzzling patterns of incoherence that lead the group to avoid certain issues or, on the other hand, to insist, against all reason, on standing and defending opinions about particular issues.
Dialogue is a way of observing, collectively, how hidden values and intentions can control our behavior, and how unnoticed cultural differences can clash without our realizing what is occurring. It can therefore be seen as an arena in which collective learning takes place and out of which a sense of increased harmony, fellowship and creativity can arise. “
You can read the full article at:
http://www.muc.de/~heuvel/dialogue/dialogue_proposal.html#7
If dialogue really grabs your interest, there are even more resources available at:
http://laetusinpraesens.org/links/webdial.php
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The article below comes from Michael Neill. He is an author, host of the radio show ‘Bringing Your Genius to Life’, and a globally sought after life coach and speaker, with a client list ranging from prominent members of the entertainment industry to the Saudi Royal Family. He has appeared frequently on TV and radio in the UK and writes a weekly coaching column on the internet, currently read in over 80 countries around the world.
THE ‘INSTANT’ BELIEF CHANGE
Our beliefs are our stories and explanations about why our lives unfold the way they do. Shifts in our belief systems can happen gradually and incrementally over time or in a dramatic ‘flash’ of new insight. They can also make the difference between staying stuck or breaking free of limited ideas and perspectives.
In his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen Covey tells a story of how an experience on a train led him to an instant belief change...
He'd been sitting on the train, trying to focus on the book he was reading, but these children kept pestering him by running up and down the aisle, shouting and jumping. He looked around for the adult in charge of these children and noticed their father staring absently out the window. "What an irresponsible parent!"
Covey thought to himself.
Not wanting to confront the errant father, Covey attempted to go back to his book. The children continued to disrupt him until he could no longer stand it. He burst over to the father and said, "Look! You've got to get these kids under control! What's the matter with you?"
The man looked up at Covey with horror and sadness in his eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" he said in a hollow voice. "I'm not even attempting to settle them down, am I? Their mother just died and none of us really knows how to behave right now."
Deeply chastened, Covey had an instant shift in belief - in his way of seeing the world. He immediately dropped his old story (i.e. "unruly children are an indication of poor parenting") and his perspective now shifted, sat down and talked with the man, easily offering the compassion he now had access to.
Is there an area of your life where you would like to have a more empowering belief and a stronger sense of what's possible for you?
Even when life doesn't hit you with a fire hose blast of perspective, you can still shift your old belief systems and change your perspective with surprising speed.
Today's experiment is based on an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) exercise developed by Robert Dilts which he calls "the organic belief change”. It’s one of the simplest effective belief change tools I use in my practice.
If you’ve got a buddy to play with, have them talk you through it; if not, be sure to take the time to read through all the steps before trying it. The process can feel a bit clumsy at first, but gets easier and easier each time you do it…
Part One: Setting the Scene (about 5 minutes)
1. Imagine you are standing in a circle. Think about something that you are open to doubt - you're not sure whether or not it's true, but you suspect it isn't!
Examples:
*Internet stocks will once again be worth hundreds of dollars a share
*The United States will one day legalize prostitution and marijuana
*Scientists will find the secret of extending life for hundreds of years within your lifetime
2. Step out of the 'circle of doubt' and clear your head. You can shake out your body and blow a raspberry if it helps!
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you can easily recognize the feeling of doubt every time you step into the circle.
4. Now, step into a different imaginary circle and visit some old beliefs in your mental museum - things you believed as a child but have outgrown. Notice how you represent them in your mind (faded images, statues, paintings, etc).
Examples:
*Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc.
*If you close your eyes, people can’t see you
5. Again, step out of the circle and shake out your body and mind. Repeat as necessary.
6. Step into a 3rd imaginary circle and think about some possibilities you are ‘open to believe’.
Examples:
*Eating fish really does make you smarter
*We can get fitter and healthier as we get older
*Creative visualization actually does increase the probability of getting what you want
7. Step out of the circle, shake out your body and clear your head. If you want to deepen the experience, repeat it as often as you like.
8. Step into one final circle – the circle of certainty. Think about some things which you know with absolute certainty to be true.
Examples:
*The sun will rise in the East and set in the West
*You love your children and always will
*Today is Monday (or whatever day it is for you!)
9. When you are done, step out of the circle and once again clear your body and mind. Repeat as necessary.
Part Two: The ‘Instant’ Belief Change (about 3 – 5 minutes)
1. Think about a belief you are ready to change – one that no longer serves you.
If there is any part of you which is not yet ready to let go of this old belief, choose a different belief to work with for now. You can always come back and change the other belief later.
2. Continue thinking about that old belief as you step into your circle of doubt
- allow that feeling of uncertainty to attach itself to your belief.
3. Without breaking state, move directly into the second circle - your “museum of old beliefs”. Pick out a nice place for that old belief and let it go. (You can always come back and visit it later!)
4. Step out of the circles and shake out your body. When you’re ready, think of an empowering new belief which will better support you in creating what you want.
5. Continue thinking of your new belief as you step into the third circle – allow yourself to feel ‘open to believe’ your new way of thinking.
6. Without breaking state, move directly into the fourth circle until you feel certain that your empowering new belief is true.
7. Repeat with as many beliefs as you like.
BONUS TIP:
The more intensely you create the feelings as you are setting the scene in part one, the more powerfully you will feel the beliefs shift in part two.
To subscribe to Michael Neill's Coaching Tips, simply send a blank e-mail to:
©2005 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved Michaels copyright message says that you may share his tips with your friends and you may reprint any tip in your newsletters, websites and message boards providing you include full authorship, copyright, and subscription information.
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Advanced Leadership and Organisational Development Program
Are you interested in participating in an Advanced Leadership and Organisational Development Program? If so check out the details on the “What’s Current” page of the Leadership ConneXions web site at: http://mux2000.mutronics.biz/03847212/what's_current.htm. At this site you will find a good overview of the benefits that this program offers and when it is on. If a simple mouse click could change your life, you would have to check it out, wouldn’t you?
Alternatively, for further information direct from the people conducting the program, please call Peter Howie or Elizabeth Synnot on 3847 3139. Peter can also be contacted at:
peterhowie@macquariehouse.com.au.
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